Who ya gonna call? North-South Watch

The government and Republic of Ireland government are planning a killing spree……of American grey squirrels. Will NSW spring into action to fight this All-Ireland gone mad scheme and blatant anti-Americanism?

  • Urquhart

    Glad to hear it.

    Those wee effers are like rats.

  • Garibaldy

    Death to Yankee Imperialist Squirrels!

  • pith

    Could we not just take sides? Unionists can be for the red squirrels and Nationalists for the grey ones.

    (by post 6 is my reckoning…)

  • squircles

    No way – its clear that the unionists are the grey squirrels!!! Foreign invaders, driving out the native population, grey squirrel parks for grey squirrel populations etc. etc . and blah blah…..

  • pith

    And there was me thinking it might take until post 6.

  • Tochais Siorai

    It didn’t even make it that far, pith. The introduction to the thread was a pretty strangled one simply to make a political point.

    ‘…..The government and Republic of Ireland government…….’ FFS.

  • squircles

    I thought FD was just repeating himself – was gonna ask if the brits would be lending a hand too.

  • Might be a good time to relicence the aul rifle.

  • George

    Will they be introducing controversial cross-border pursuit teams to hunt down these “squirrels”?

  • Anna Dale

    Surely time to bring back the S.A.S (Shoot All Squirrels)units?

  • Glad to see the bunny-huggers haven’t been on yet to express their outrage…..to my shame my mother’s cat brought home a red a wee while ago, I have been trying to teach him to go for greys instead, using the medium of flashcards.

  • smcgiff

    ‘Will they be introducing controversial cross-border pursuit teams to hunt down these “squirrels”?’

    Ah yes, I can see it now…

    Paddy and Maurice are in hot pursuit of a grey squirrel for two hours, over 3 miles, up hill and down dale. Suddenly Paddy has a clear shot at his prey through barbed wire. The squirrel is sitting up on its tail, almost tauntingly, panting its little heart out.

    Paddy noiselessly un-shoulders his .22 riffle, goes down on one knee and centres the grey rodent in the middle of his sights.

    ‘Die you non indigenous rodent’ (or words to that effect, echo inside Paddy’s head)

    A quiver of excitement shudders through Paddy’s body as he squeezes the trigger, but at the last second Maurice lifts his rifle up and the shot goes wildly wide.

    Confused, Paddy watches as Maurice points at the ditch through which the squirrel had squirreled (as they do).

    ‘He be in bandit country now.’

    It took Paddy a good few seconds to realise the full meaning of Maurice’s words; the squirrel had past into Armagh, beyond their jurisdiction.

    Paddy raises his fists into the air and cries…

    ‘Damn all you British to hell!’

    At which point Maurice (secretly a rangers supporter) knocks paddy senseless with the butt of his shotgun.

  • eranu

    red squirrels seem to be in danger all over ‘The British Isles ™’ 🙂

    i saw a feature about this on countryfile or some programme like that. they seemed to think it was too late to try a cull, in england anyway.

    if its not too late here, then id support a cull if it would protect our native red. you have to be cruel to be kind !!

  • tra

    So we all agree on ‘positive discrimination’ !!

  • rapunsel

    Beautiful little animal — the red squirrel, the greys are nice too but unless culled could lead ultimately to the extinction of the red. I watched a red squirrel last monday night whilst out for a walk with my children. Fascinating to see one sitting on the branch of a big beech tree about 20 feet above us throwing the husks of beech nuts down on to the ground. Children loved seeing it too. Good luck to Cavecanem with the flash cards!!

  • jim

    Yankee squirrel go home … and take me with you!

  • common tater

    Look on the bright side… at least y’all were brighter than the Germans…

    They imported raccoons…

  • Speaking of small furry invaders – has anybody seen a mink lately?
    Saw one on the beach in Donegal a couple of years ago, it was bizarre. He sat and watched us having a picnic.
    Very efficient little killing machines – invite them round your house at your peril.

  • squircles

    “Look on the bright side… at least y’all were brighter than the Germans…

    They imported raccoons…”

    Yeah, but not grey squirrels!

  • Tochais Siorai

    Loads of mink round our way, Cavecanem, they can really fukk up an ecosystem if they get going at all. And has anyone who authorised the setting up of mink farms ever been prosecuted or even faced disciplinary charges?

  • Not that I’m aware, Tochais.
    I like mink as a rule, but then again I am not on their menu – they are formidable and will take on anything.
    I kept ferrets and they always kept trying to go for our cats. The (considerably larger) dog was also terrified of them.