Ideas for the new writings on the wall

A caller to the BBC Talkback programme today suggested that some of the £3.3 million pounds being committed to wall murals here be spent on a mural for Mickey Marley and his famous roundabout (heard all about it but definitely before my time..)
Now I know George Best murals are the ‘in’ thing in certain parts of Belfast, but given that £3.3 million is being spent on this (I know, it still sounds incredible each time I type the amount) I thought we should hold a public consultation on the matter- and unlike most consultations, this one will cost nothing!
So, sluggerites, what are your ideas for the new paintings on the walls? Let’s have ’em all, there’s plenty of paint to be bought!

  • fartfrick

    i think they should draw a hundred arses with keyboards on a gable wall . that would depict

  • dantheman

    sammy wilson frolicking about in the buff. what better way to honour an ex lord mayor?

  • circles

    I’d like to see a tribute to all the ice-cream men and women, who braved the darkest hour of the troubles to make sure that the access rights of we, the children, to 99s, screwballs, wibbly wobbly wonders and other frozen delights were upheld.
    So a big mural please to all the Mr Whippies, Ms Teddy’s, and other poke-vans of your choice. And as they have so much cash they could stick an extra flake in it and all.

  • overhere

    How about Ferguson, you know the man who made the tractors I am sure he was either from N. Ireland or of that stock. What about the Bronte sisters again did not live in Belfast but are know figures (well to some anyway and if it educates as well, even better) The “Black Santa” there’s another one. Finn McCool building the Giants causeway and making the Isle of Man, you could twin that with the ship yard only Finn’s project didn’t sink, well not the last timeI looked. What about one with Liz and Mary having tea in the front parlour.

    You see what happens on a Friday afternoon after a long week the brain just goes off into a little world of its own

  • overhere

    My Uncle who during the strike in the 70’s delivered milk straight from his farm to Belfast crossing checkpoints etc and generally feeding Belfast when no one else would

  • eranu

    i think it would be best to just clean the paint off the majority of the walls and spend the money on something sensible, like hospitals. £3.3 million to paint pictures on walls – wise up!
    a normal society has nice clean walls with no graffiti doesnt it? see many murals in dublin or london?
    what was on the walls before the troubles? nothing !!

    having said that. some of the more famous murals and the more scaryer ones should be kept, for a while atleast, for tourists to stop at and photograph. its a pretty good and unique attraction.

  • overhere

    Circles, I love that world poke. It sends these ones over here in England into howls of laughter when I ask them if they would like a poke with a flake in it LOL, and don’t forget thoses men who made the sliders

  • The word poke gets the same reaction in Dublin, I learned years ago not to say ‘fancy a poke?’.

    I think Mickey Marley would be great, I spent many hours of fun on that roundabout as a kid.

    There are also other stories of people that could be depicted like Buck Alec and his tiger and monkeys and I am sure there are many many more.

  • circles

    By the way – does anybody have any figures on the cost of the roof job at the Cistine Chapel (I’m just wondering what we can expect for all that money – i mean its 5 Million Euro!!! You could bring a lot of clean water and sanitation to a lot of people with that kind of money and still have change to spare. I enjoy a laugh as much as the next person, but throwing this amount of money at things that should actually be spontaneous expressions of the community can only end up producing a lot of old rubbish. Whose idea was this?)

  • Rory

    If we adopt the first charming suggestion on this thread, from Fartfrick, to “draw a hundred arses with keyboards on a gable wall . that would depict ” we should be obliged to employ Gilbert and George, the acknowledged foremost masters of arsehole painting since Reubens died (remember “the bums follow you round the room, Dud”).

    And those two geezers won’t get outa bed in the morning these days for less than £5M. Still it would be a good ploy to squeeze more money from London, even if Gil and Georgie boy would end up taking it back there. But hey, that’s the fun of public arts funding – all your mates wind up with the dosh.

  • Moochin photoman

    Whilst it seems like alot of money “to paint a few walls”, has anyone considered the work that goes into producing large scale community art pieces?
    The built environment has a valid and important role to play..consider Gaudi’s buildings in Barcelona and elsewhere. There is also Freidrich Huntervasser who engages with the community to produce beautiful and quirky buildings that are utilitarian and fun.
    Working within the community as an artist is a time consuming, challenging but worthwhile profession and its role in helping to overcome barriers within our society should not be underestimated.
    Often artists are taken out of their comfort zone by the nature of the issues and the individuals and groups involved. Alot of this work goes on unheeded but the overall context of it should be seen as engagement and allowing people of all ages to become involved in creating a piece of art work.
    By engaging with artists and the processes involved with creating, people do learn not just about art but themselves and in doing so perhaps can look beyond the gable at their neighbour and consider their view.

  • iluvni

    I dont care what goes on it, but the sooner that disgusting Irish Out/Red Hand Commando monstrosity disappears from the gable wall on the ONeill Rd, Newtownabbey, the better.

    Its a scandal it has been permitted to remain there so long.

    “Irish Out”.. what a load of balls.

  • Folk Horoes…..

    Im suprised no one has mentioned yer man with the lion !

    & im not talking about that beloved resident of E. Belfast, MR. Lewis.

    Buck Alec & toothless lion……..would look great on a gable end ?

  • binlid

    “Buck Alec & toothless lion……..would look great on a gable end ?”

    I thought the £3.3m was to get rid of sectarian murals not create new ones.

  • joeCanuck

    This lion?

    There’s a famous seaside place called Blackpool
    That’s noted for fresh-air and fun
    And Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom
    Went there with young Albert their son

    A grand little lad was young Albert
    All dressed in his best quite a swell
    With a stick with an horses head handle
    The finest that Woolworths could sell

    They didn’t think much to the ocean
    The waves were all ‘spiddlin’ and small
    There were no wrecks, and nobody drownded
    Fact nothing to laugh at at all

    So seeking for further amusement
    They paid and went into the zoo
    Where they’d lions and tigers and camels
    And old ale and sandwiches too

    There were one great big lion called Wallace
    His nose were all covered with scars
    He lay in a somnolent posture
    With the side of his face on the bars

    Now Albert had heard about lions
    How they were ferocious and wild
    To see Wallace lying so peaceful
    Well it didn’t seem right to the child

    So straight way the brave little fella
    Not showing a morsel of fear
    Took his stick with his horses head handle
    And pushed it in Wallace’s ear

    You could see that the lion didn’t like it
    By giving a kind of a roll
    He pulled Albert inside the cage with him
    And swallowed the little lad whole

    Then Pa who had seen the occurrence
    And didn’t know what to do next
    Said, “Mother! Yon lion’s ate Albert.”
    And Mother said, “Well I am vexed.”

    Then Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom
    Quite rightly when all’s said and done
    Complained to the animal keeper
    That the lion had eaten their son

    The keeper were quite nice about it
    He said, “What a nasty mishap.”
    “Are you sure that its your boy he’s eaten?”
    Pa said, “Am I sure, there’s his cap.”

    The manager had to be sent for
    He came and he said, “Whats to do!”
    Pa said, “Yon lion’s ate Albert!”
    “And him in his Sunday clothes too.”

    Then Mother said, “Right’s right young fella.”
    “I think its a shame and a sin.”
    “For a lion to go and eat Albert.”
    “And after we’d paid to come in.”

    The manager wanted no trouble
    He took out his purse right away
    Saying, “How much to settle the matter?”
    And Pa said, “What do you usually pay?”

    But Mother had turned a bit awkward
    When she thought where her Albert had gone
    She said, “No! Someone’s got to be summonsed
    So that was decided upon.

    Then off they went to the Police Station
    In front of the magistrate chap
    They told him what happened to Albert
    And proved it by showing his cap

    The magistrate gave his opinion
    “That no one was really to blame.”
    And he said, “That he hoped the Ramsbottoms.”
    “Would have further sons to their name.”

    At that Mother got proper blazing
    “And thank you sir kindly.” said she
    “What waste all our lives raising children.”
    “To feed ruddy lions. Not me!”

  • Do you not think the “toothless” lion would be apt ?

  • binlid

    N P
    Only if Buck Alec was sucking a dummy:)

  • Rory

    Good on yer, Joe. Stanley Holloway lives. Now please give us:

    “Wiv a ladder and some glasses
    You could see the ‘ackney Marshes
    If it wasn’t for the ‘ouses in between”

    Do you know that one? That’s all I can remember of it.

  • Betty Boo

    Adding a different dimension to mute gone slogans.

  • We’ve had a few suggestions of our own over at Random Shite.

  • joeCanuck

    Glad to oblige Rory

    If you saw my little backyard, “Wot a pretty spot!”
    you’d cry,
    It’s a picture on a sunny summer day;
    Wiv the turnip tops and cabbages wot
    peoples doesn’t buy
    I makes it on a Sunday look all gay.
    The neighhours finks I grow ’em and you’d
    fancy you’re in Kent,
    Or at Epsom if you gaze into the mews.
    It’s a wonder as the landlord doesn’t want
    to raise the rent,
    Because we’ve got such nobby distant views.

    Oh it really is a very pretty garden
    And Chingford to the eastward could be seen;
    Wiv a ladder and some glasses,
    You could see to ‘Ackney Marshes,
    If it wasn’t for the ‘ouses in between.
    We’re as countrified as can be wiv a clothes prop for a tree,
    The tub-stool makes a rustic little stile;
    Ev’ry time the bloomin’ clock strikes there’s a
    cuckoo sings to me,

    And I’ve painted up “To Leather Lane a mile.”
    Wiv tomatoes and wiv radishes wot ‘adn’t any sale,
    The backyard looks a puffick mass o’ bloom;
    And I’ve made a little beehive wiv some beetles in a pail,
    And a pitchfork wiv a handle of a broom.
    Oh it really is a wery pretty garden,
    And Rye ‘ouse from the cock-loft could be seen:
    Where the chickweed man undresses,
    To bathe ‘mong the watercresses,
    If it wasn’t for the ‘ouses in between.

    There’s the bunny shares ‘is egg box wiv the
    cross-eyed cock and hen
    Though they ‘as got the pip and him the morf;
    In a dog’s ‘ouse on the line-post there was
    pigeons nine or ten,
    Till someone took a brick and knocked it orf.
    The dustcart though it seldom comes, is just
    like ‘arvest ‘ome
    And we mean to rig a dairy up some’ow;
    Put the donkey in the washouse wiv some imitation ‘orns,
    For we’re teaching ‘im to moo just like a cah

  • Moochin photoman

    This fella’s work is vv good

    his Magritte meets Miles would be a good one too…..

    his name on flickr means “all the good names are gone…pffff”

  • circles

    Moochin – yer man was actually called Friedensreich Hundertwasser (not Freidrich Huntervasser), but anyway…
    3.3 Million does not only seem like a lot of money, it actually IS lot of money – way too much methinks just to get a few “artists” out of their comfort zone and ready to engage with the community. Mural painters have never needed these kind of incentives before, so I’m not buying that one, and the touchy feely approach to get Iron Maiden’s Eddie out of the UVF uniform.