Pope given a BMW X5…

You may not believe it, but BMW have given Pope Benedict a brand new SUV!

  • smcgiff

    At least you’re fallible, Mick!

  • fair_deal

    Boycott Bavarian BMW (NI) Ltd Now ;P

    (Just want an excuse to have a go at bavarian, still p***ed off by how high their maintenance charges were)

  • slug

    FD the BMW man: your standing with me has just sunk.

  • looking in

    At least its was not something fey or flaccid like a Cayenne…

    He’ll look interesting in a bitching gangsta black X5 with 22″ wheels and blacked out windows

    maybe the Rev Doc will be looking for an upgrade from the personal protection Omega V6

  • Henry94

    Informed sources said that the X5 would probably be turned over to the Vatican police force.

    So what’s the big deal?

  • looking in

    Nerd like…. the X5 second. gen. is due along in 2006 so this is a runout model – allows a bit of publicity to keep sales up in last few months of production.

  • fair_deal


    A complete ego boost after my divorce. I no longer drive a BMW, round were I live it makes people think you’re a paramilitary boss so I got shot of it. I conspiciously avoided adopting the attitudes of the dreaded BMW driver – it was amazing the number of times I waved people on at a junction and they wouldn’t believe me because I drove a BMW.

  • smcgiff

    ‘A complete ego boost after my divorce.’

    There I was thinking that ‘fair_deal’ represented a stance on concessions to unionists,when all along…

    😉 Only joking!!!

  • fair_deal

    The fair_deal vision has many levels mcgiff

    I had the ex-wife signed up to the financial agreement sharpish. I did always pick up a sense of unhappiness/disappointment about that from both our solicitors though, I wonder why? 😉

  • Joe

    The catch is that , in return, the pope has agreed to change one line of The Lord’s Prayer to read “give us this day our BMW..”.
    Reportedly the folks at Ormeau bakery are furious.

  • smcgiff

    The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He’s met by the reception committee – three beautiful nymphs and a resplendent God. After a whirlwind tour he is told that his reward is… a new BMW.

    ‘You’ve got to be kidding me!’

    ‘No! This is the BMW X5, the Ultimate Driving Experience. The smoothest ride that heaven can offer!’

    Slightly embarrassed and in a hushed voice the Pope leans in close to God and, nodding towards the three nymphs, admits. ‘After 85 years of being celibate, the ultimate experience I’ve been looking forward to is a ride of a different type!’

    ‘Yeah, about that,’ God takes him aside, ‘You see, the translator from the original scripture rushed down the word celibate – Which was, in fact, not the intended word at all. He completely left out the letter R… Specifically, after the letter b.’

    The Pope thinks for a while and whimpers, ‘I suppose reincarnation’s out of the question?’

    I’m hear all week! 😉

  • smcgiff

    LOL, Joe!

  • smcgiff

    ‘I had the ex-wife signed up to the financial agreement sharpish.’

    You auld romantic, Fair_Play! 😉

  • Joe

    So the Pope leaves the vatican to go to a function in Rome, and, of course, is been driven by a chaffeur in his brand new BMW.
    After a few minutes, the pope says to the driver, “I wanna drive”.
    The driver is aghast. “Your Holiness, this is Rome, the craziest place in the world to drive..”
    “I know I know, ” said the pope “but I wanna drive. Don’ you wanna ride in the back? You should be so pampered. Last shall be first, an’ all that. Lemme drive.”
    How do you say no to the pope? The driver pulls over, and he trades places with the Holy Father. The pontiff gets behind the wheel, pulls out with a jerk, and starts driving. He’s thrilled, but, you know, he hasn’t driven in several years, and he’s really bad. And this is Rome.
    He goes the wrong way on one-way streets. He’s not used to the BMW, and he clips parked cars on turns. He turns across lanes of traffic. He generally makes a mess of things.
    Eventually he gets pulled over by a cop.
    The Pope is really nervous. He doesn’t have a license, and, y’know, Italian cops have a reputation. He sits there gripping the wheel as the cop comes up to the window.
    “All right…” the cop starts to say, then he sees who it is, and freezes. “Um, I’ll be right back.”
    The cop gets on the radio and calls back to his station. “Boss, I’ve just pulled over somebody really important.”
    “So. What’d he do?”
    “Oh, sir, he’s driving a limo the wrong way on one-way streets, clipping parked cars on turns, turnin’ across lanes of traffic. Oh, it’s a mess.”
    “So give him a ticket.”
    “But he’s really important.”
    “Does he have Diplomatic tags?”
    “Uh, no sir.”
    “Then give him a ticket.”
    “But he’s really, really important.”
    ” No one’s that important.”
    “Oh but he is, sir.”
    “Well, WHO IS IT?”
    “I don’t know, sir, but the Pope’s drivin’ his car.”

  • missfitz

    That was funny!

  • Jimmy_Sands

    The Ultimate Shriving Machine?

  • missfitz

    Bless My Weiner?

  • aquifer

    At least it proves that you CAN give the things away after all. PalmBeachPost

  • aquifer

    Satanic Underworld Vehicles?

  • Yoda

    To the ancient or mediaeval mind, the automobile is God…

  • Jimmy Sands

    Auto da Fe?

    I can’t help myself.

  • Dualta

    With the vow of poverty and all that le supremo should be embarrassed at this offer. In fact, he should take a `beemer`….. taa, daa, boom!

  • curious


    I was of the impression that Pope Benedict was formerly a priest and not a member of a religious order e.g. Franciscans/Dominicans. Consequently, he is not under a vow of poverty.

  • mucher


    Well, he should be!

  • Heavy Traffic

    As an infrequent poster but avid reader of Slugger, I hope you will accept an entry from a relative newcomer –

    If his advisers were to prevent the Pontiff from driving his newly-acquired vehicle, would that not be considered a “car-denial sin”?

    Boom boom!

  • Joe

    Actually the vehicle donated was less than reported Heavy Traffic. So it’s only a van-ial sin.

  • Joe

    Is this the weiner you were thiking of missfitz?

  • Mick

    Right. The Leivathan event is tomorrow night. Unfortunately we only have a prize for those who can make it to Dublin. If you have a joke entered, let us know if you can go.

    We’ll announce the winner at the end of the day!