Some crucial bits of history

A little, much needed, humour today from The Guardian. Seemingly, according to the Conservative Party, the study of history is crucial to a nation’s survival – Ah, you say, but which history (or, indeed, which nation)? ANYway.. Guardian journalist Tanya Gold suggests some important facts for inclusion in the curriculum – Britain in Brief*

It’s worth reading in choronological order but I’ll pick out some of my own favourites –

410 Romans go home. The Dark Ages begin; Saxons, Angles, Danes, Vikings, etc arrive (see The Vikings, starring Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis).

——————–

1265 First House of Commons sits, then gets up, citing boredom.

——————–

June 23 1348 A Gascon merchant ship docks in Weymouth Bay, bringing the Pestilence, also known as the Great Mortality and, later, the Black Death. A third of the population of England and Wales die. King Philip VI of France asks the priests for an explanation. They explain that God is angry. God is re-angered in 1361, 1368, 1374, 1379 and 1390.

——————–

1546 Syphillis epidemic. Henry VIII implicated.

——————–

1652 Coffee arrives, at last.

——————–

1649-1660 Commonwealth and the Protectorate. Everyone wears black and pretends to believe in God. Great swathes of the population die of boredom.

——————–

1848 Karl Marx writes The Communist Manifesto in the British Library’s Reading Room, while eating sandwiches and drinking coffee.

——————–

1963 Sexual intercourse begins, according to the poet Philip Larkin.

——————–

2002 Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, the last Empress of India, dies. Gin sales slump; vodka sales soar.

( * – I know, I know.. but them’s the facts )

  • maca

    Very good! 😉

  • Emily

    I notice the conspicuous absence of any mention in regards to relations with a certain neighboring “emerald” isle…

  • peteb

    Didn’t you read the footnote, Emily?

  • peteb

    BTW, Emily…

    1783 British lose America.

  • Emily

    Judging from most of the commentary pages in the Guardian, the author probably considers this a good thing.

  • peteb

    a separate section of the paper, Emily…

  • The Devil

    Emily,
    Why would any writer trying to construct a piece of humour for entertainment purposes only, even consider refering to

    [humour, Mr D., humour. – peteb]

  • maca

    Devil
    ” Why would any writer trying to construct a piece of humour for entertainment purposes only”

    Why else would any writer try to construct a piece of humour if not for entertainment purposes? 😉

  • Emily

    Devil,
    Texas isn’t an island.

  • The Devil

    Damn censorship,

    Ban all censors… 🙂

  • The Devil

    Emily,

    Glad after all your efforts on Slugger that you managed to get somthin’ right.

    “Texas is not an Island”

    but Texas is alas also not a “neighbouring emerald isle”

  • The Devil

    peteb,

    i was going to let you into my place when your finished in this world….. NOT ANY MORE…

    you can go to the other place with the censors and do-gooders and get bored for eternity.

    oh and the frocks…………………

  • peteb

    You should be used to censorship by now, Mr D.

  • peteb

    and what’s wrong with frocks..

  • Emily

    Devil,
    Based on the content of your earlier comment that Mr. Baker has mercifully censored (thus making the joke about “Texas” curiously stupid), I am quite please to learn you think I’ve “got it wrong.”

  • James

    Texas isn’t an island.

    Of course not. Why would somone want to put an island in the midwest?

    Silly people.