Profile for Am Ghobsmacht
Found way down the food chain, a 'middle of the road' creature that is attacked by creatures from either side of the political jungle, from the bottom feeding 'Republicanus hypocriticus' better known as the 'common shinner' to the chameleonic 'Unionisus opportunitisticus', better known as a 'Dooper'.
Known to feed on single celled organisms such as 'Rangerophilus fanus' and 'neque Deditionem' better known as 'no surrenders' and occasionally surfacing during rutting season to lock horns with 'MOPEus Eternus', better known by their moniker 'MOPEs'.
Latest comments from Am Ghobsmacht (see all)
Am Ghobsmacht has commented 68 times (25 in the last month).
Comment on “Republicans should remember that the third colour in the Irish flag is Orange…”
on 23 May 2013 at 12:44 pm
Morpheus
“Your experiences of the GAA, as I said are not representative….not by a long shot.”
In general, what is the classic/typical Protestant experience of the GAA?
By and large I’d say ‘absolutely none’ first hand.
As with many sticking points in Northland it’s down to perception:
So, what goes on inside GAA halls?
Is it ‘community bonding, sports training and the general machinations of a community hub’ or ‘ constant plotting, scheming and planning of the overthrow of Ulster’?
I’d wager that it is the former, but ‘my tribe’ only needs a whiff of the latter for the whole association to be tarnished, be treated with hostility and be considered off limits.
Lest I drop my hypocritical guard and receive a logical-haymaker to the side of the face, we could apply the same question to what goes on in Orange halls.
Mostly community based but I’ll readily admit to the more ‘exclusive’ nature of this (paranoid) club.
The OO needs to make itself more acceptable to the citizenry of NI and could start with a few easy steps that a ‘Christian’ organisation should have no qualms with; such as stigmatising the accompanying bands that carry terrorist standards, ensure due respect towards houses of worship on the parade routes, banning those convicted of murder and serious crime and even taking down that stupid picture of Cromwell from Magherafelt’s Loyalist arch…
Likewise, the “we’re so inclusive” GAA needs to hire a marketing agent or PR guru and find out what part of it’s image is divisive and off putting.
Though it would hardly be money well spent to have some suit tell us that naming clubs after people whom the Protestant community hate is off putting.
I’m glad you mentioned the lack of flag poles at some clubs, you know what we’re like with flegs and many Protestant assume that the tri-colour comes with the turf.
Personally, I’d love for Protestants to join the Northern GAA en-masse, but, what would happen if they did?
How would this go down at grassroots level if indeed someday the ‘Armagh Orangemen’ actually included some Armagh Orangemen?
I’m all up for ‘Orangemen and Hurley bats’ but some one has to make a big brave unpopular move first.
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Comment on Team Jasil – that’s John and Basil – say: “Get off your backsides and vote for people that are trying to make a difference”
on 13 May 2013 at 2:27 am
”I also have to say that if you ask me what is my identity, my identify is Northern Irish, I believe in Northern Ireland, I love Northern Ireland”
and
” I’m Northern Irish. I am Irish. I am British”
Brilliant.
Hope at last.
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Comment on Futile Border Poll campaign to launch
on 10 May 2013 at 3:48 am
SoS
Well answered.
You’re one of the first, if not the first Unionist I’ve come across that has answered those questions, the wheels normally come off at the ‘fleg’ point or descend into a pointless ‘chicken-egg’ argument regardling Catholic unionists or potential football supporters…
Most unionists I know have an ‘ain’t broke – don’t fix’ attitde despite suspecting that something is very much broken, hence my despair and willingness to explore all political options.
I think you downplay the importance of the fleg & anthem, but, if you’ve no interest in football then that’s fair enough.
As for the unicorns, you may regard it as moot where as I think at the very least it’s worth a shot.
It’s not like Unionism is bursting with dynamic ideas at the moment.
As for your elements of the GAA point, I agree entirely.
But, if they want to exclude half of NI from joining up (a few exceptions are noted) then that’s their beeswax, my priority would be to see a Norn Iron team for Norn Iron people.
Something that many Unionists are seemingly opposed to.
(Yourself evidently not included)
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Comment on Futile Border Poll campaign to launch
on 9 May 2013 at 11:28 am
SoS
I figured you’d take the path of least resistance, as in fighting over history as opposed to touching upon any of my points.
Logical enough I suppose.
Especially as I did say “…so spare me”
So, in the hope of extracting a response from you regarding these topics that I have flagged repeatedly, I’ll state them again, you can simply scowl and tell me why each one is wrong:
“so, spare me an answer of the following 5 points…”
1/ I believe that the Northern Ireland football team uses GSTQ incorrectly (in that is NOT the UK but a part of it) and should follow the lead of Scotland and Wales.
2/ I believe that because Northern Ireland doesn’t have a flag of IT’S OWN it needs or at the very least is entitled to one.
3/ I believe that the alarming dependence that we have on flags to prop our culture is to our detriment and therefore we need to find something else or demote their importance.
4/ A combination of the of the above measures will make Norn Iron more palatable to some people of a Catholic and Nationalist background and by default more amenable to staying in the UK
5/ The point that the green unicorn was trying to make was that apparently some Catholics don’t like it when unionists defend bands that play songs about killing Catholics or carry banners of gangs that used to kill Catholics. His point was ( I understand) that maybe if this perceived link between those who wish to maintain the union and killing Catholics is removed then maybe it would slightly easier for them to think slightly more pro-union
Please highlight the parts that you think are incorrect and indeed why.
Also, just to untangle any crossed wires, the ‘Home Rule’ I referred to was a hypothetical 32 county Ireland with around 1/4 of the population Protestant.
I was not referring to the 26 county Ireland that came to pass and was indeed under a form of ‘Rome Rule’.
I’ll gladly listen to any theories as to how a 32 county ‘Home Ruled’ Ireland could have asserted Catholic bias upon 1/4 of the population, many of whom were tied into the upper echelons of the British Empire and the British army, had a large amount of control over industry, banking and commerce as well as large number of paranoid ‘boots on the ground’ in North East.
I’ll gladly listen to your theory as it may offset some of the influence of Joseph Johnston’s ‘Civil War in Ulster’ .
First things first, hammer through those first 5 points as if I am missing something, then surely as one unionist to another, you could throw me a bone and let me know what I’m missing?
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Comment on Futile Border Poll campaign to launch
on 9 May 2013 at 5:40 am
SoS
“Well there you have it. If that riff on things bovine represents your knowledge of the community you allegedly spring from it explains some of your self-hating predilections.”
“allegedly” and “self-hating”.
Doesn’t take much for one to be processed through the ‘Great Unionist Flow Chart” and be spat out of the other end with the conclusion that one is either completely ignorant or indeed not a unionist/Protestant at all.
“He’s not with us, so he must surely be against us…”
I am well aware that Carson was a reluctant partitionist. Thank you.
I am also aware that the herd he lead believed in an Orange Eden, as they swallowed the bullsh*t about a green Eden that they would be stuck in, summarised by the fantasy of ‘Home Rule is Rome Rule’ (A Home Rule agreed upon by Unionists with Unionist involvement would be utterly different from a post-Easter-Uprising, post-Black & Tan War embittered Republic with a zeal for a confessional state, so spare me).
One of many examples of using fear, paranoia and hysteria to whip the voters into shape.
A tradition that carries onto this very day much to the detriment of Unionism.
Carson may not have been interested in an Orange Eden but by the time the propaganda wheels had stopped turning many of his followers were.
“I’ll leave the last few paragraphs of your insights alone. Much too redolent of wide-eyed frothy-mouth syndrome for me I’m afraid.”
I am starting to worry about my sanity slightly, perhaps my relationship with reality is warped after all, perhaps you could straighten this out for me then and tell me why ‘the voices’ are so wrong?
In my fantasy dream world that I retreat into I see a ‘Northern Ireland flag for Northern Ireland’ – My Unionist psychiatrist says this is just my crazy chat.
When I follow the white Rabbit down the rabbit hole, I hear a ‘Northern Ireland anthem for Northern Ireland’ – The nice porters at Holywell tell me it’s OK and that everything will be fine.
When sometimes having a cup of tea with the Mad hatter, we often talk about a ‘culture that isn’t so obsessed with flags’ – The nice doctor that applies the voltage in my electro shock therapy sessions tells me that it’s just a side effect of the treatment
When being beckoned by one of Dr Parnassus’ colleagues in the imaginarium I see population statistics, demographic shifts and voting trends that portend a rough time for unionism as it currently stands (although, there is a nice green unicorn there that tells me that he and some of his friends might vote Unionist too if we would stop defending bands that sing songs about killing unicorns, that call themselves ‘ The K.A.U’ or that fly banners of groups that used to kill the unicorns) – My faeces-eating cellmate tells me that he sees unicorns too…..
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Comment on Futile Border Poll campaign to launch
on 8 May 2013 at 2:04 pm
Well, from a cattle-man perspective, I’d venture a guess that the faithful herd were guided by loyal cowboy-in-chief Edward ‘Hank’ Carson into pastures plenty with the promise of an orange Eden with khaki clad guardians on the other side of the river.
The Mexicans were thought to be low in number and therefore no threat to the herd and as such all safety implorations were discarded.
In due course the faithful herd did indeed come across a lofty tower with it’s foundations in a pulpit on the ‘Hill of Ravens’ and did listen to the preachings of ‘The One Who Understands’ who speechified against papist-loving shortcomings (such as one-man-one-vote) and thus did indeed promise to lead the herd into ‘The Golden Future Time’ of a planter upper class propped up by their underclass of bog-wog Hellots.
As for the Holy Green Grail I cannot answer for I am consumed with the idea of a holy green & white army whose wrath, loveable rogueishness and journeyman-esque footballing skills would be a football team worthy of representing it’s (hypothetically) mixed fanbase.
Alas, the heretical followers (like myself) of such a Golden Cow are despised as traitors and Lundies and cursed with the Cassandra Complex of foresight of disaster and the subsequent inability to make their pleadings heard for an ammendment to the present course of doomed action.
The prophet needs no such assistance with his condescention for he will be punished by having to witness the vestige of his beloved team and country burn in flames whilst the righteous fire-fighters of the Red, White and Blue Watch pour spirits onto it’s burning cadaver in an attempt to exercise the demons of the prophet’s popish plot.
Cultural cringe? Well let’s see: A culture that depends on out of date flags, red, white and blue paint and a contempt for it’s own pre-1880′s culture “cos it’s too similar to the f*nians’ culture”? Yes.
For as long as Scotland has a mirror image culture that does not necessarily rely on religion nor political persuasion then I shall be truely appalled by the cultural hot-dogs that now pass for a culture that supposedly descends from Scotland; “yes we can sometimes use bodrans and penny whistles and some dancing BUT ONLY IF THEY’RE ACCOMPANIED BY LOADSA FLEGS!”
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Comment on Futile Border Poll campaign to launch
on 7 May 2013 at 1:26 am
NOTE: Should have read “This way for organic paranoia-’FREE’ unionist beef ….”
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Comment on Futile Border Poll campaign to launch
on 7 May 2013 at 1:00 am
“Sounds to me like you’ve been reading too much of the Republican propaganda twisting reality on sites such as Wikipedia etc.”
Or the insidious, republican, anorak-wearing goblins at the British flag institute:
http://www.flaginstitute.org/index.php?location=7.1.2#index23
Or that famed agent of the popish plot to overthrow loyal Ulster, better known as Jim Allister, he indavertently admitted that the Ulster flag wasn’t Northern Ireland’s flag (per se) in one of his proposed legal stunts to have the Union Flag flown 365 at city hall.
F*ck it, even Dr Who (Tom Baker) said it on a flag documentary….
So, then, what is THE FLEG?
The Ulster Banner?
The one that half of Northern Ireland hates, the one that is flown by almost every loyalist band in the country?
Brilliant idea. *SLOW. CLAP*
I’m afraid that too many of us in the Protestant or Unionist communities believe our own hype and propaganda.
For examle, just try and tell your ordinary ‘loyal citizen’ that Governer Walker wanted to surrender Derry to James II too, and watch their flace implode with confusion. Cos they believe all our own hype.
I’m more worried about loyalist propaganda as it’s used to hysterically round up the unionist cattle and cause them to stampede into the relevent cattle stall at voting time:
“This way for organic paranoia unionist beef raised on logic and reason, this aisle for PUL branded-beef pumped full of propaganda, fear mongering and whataboutery growth hormones”
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Comment on PSNI responsible for “persecution of the Protestant people” – DUP
on 6 May 2013 at 12:49 pm
““Whether you loathe … your politicians … get behind them”. Ruth Patterson in that clip.”
Has Norn Iron finally turned into a Douglas Adams novel?
————————————————————–
“…The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.”
“Odd,” said Arthur, “I though you said it was a democracy.”
“I did,” said Ford. “It is.”
“So,” said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, “why don’t the people get rid of the lizards?”
“It honestly doesn’t occur to them,” said Ford. “They’ve all got the vote so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.”
“You mean they actually vote for the lizards?”
“Oh yes,” said Ford with a shrug, “of course.”
“But,” said Arthur, going for the big one again, “why?”
“Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,” said Ford, “the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?”
“What?”
“I said,” said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, “have you got any gin?”
“I’ll look. Tell me about the lizards.”
Ford shrugged again.
“Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happened to them,” he said. “They’re completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone’s got to say it.”
——————————————————
As for Nesbitt, he can’t ‘outdo’ Grim Jim and the DUPers in terms of fundamentalism (or whatever you want to call it, nut-jobism, headinthesandism, nosurrenderism) so why bother?
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Comment on Open thread for the holiday weekend (usual rules doubly apply)…
on 5 May 2013 at 5:09 am
@ Morpheus
“Is there a difference between co-religious education and integrated education?”
I’m not 100% sure but I think the co-religion education is more along the lines of having separate schools in the same campus or building.
So, if the new school at Moy is anything to go by then it’s still the same old apartheid, everyone will be in their different school uniforms and taught apart.
I welcome correction on the matter as I hope that I’m wrong:
A perfect opportunity to finally have Protestants and Catholics sitting beside each other in class being wasted because our politicians are for some reason obsessed with keeping us separated.
To copy FDM’s method, lets just change a few key nouns of the proposal:
“A mainly BLACK school and a WHITE school are set to share the same building. The BLACK students will retain their old school uniforms as will the WHITE students.
Should they wish to do so, there is the opportunity for the students to mix at meal times…”
“A shared future. Separately!”
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