Mr Trump: What you are talking about is assault, it is a crime, and it is not okay.

It’s no secret that Trump is fond of using shocking language when talking about women. Between saying about his daughter “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

And bragging – which he is remarkably good at doing – that “All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”

I was beginning to think that nothing Trump said could shock me. Last week, however, a recording has emerged that left most people either speechless or shouting their disgust from the rooftops. I must confess that until now, I have been the former.

The thing is, what can I, as a woman who has experienced assault, say? I feel like I’ve already said it all. Why would my reaction to Trump treating sexual assault as a bit of fun be any different to any other man?

After taking some time out to think about it, I think I’ve finally worked out how to put my thoughts into words.

Let’s go back to the Orlando Pulse Nightclub massacre. I don’t know a single person on the LGBT+ spectrum who didn’t break down in tears as the news was coming through about this particular shooting.

The reason for that isn’t just that we’d lost members of our “family”, but because it was a stark reminder that there are people out there who will stop at nothing to see us dead. All because of who we are and who we love.

I think the reaction from women to Trump’s remarks about “grab them [women] by the p***y” is for a very similar reason. It’s a reminder that there are men out there who think it’s perfectly acceptable to treat women like property.

It’s a reminder that our safety when we’re walking down the street or going to an event is never guaranteed.

There’s also the fact that Trump, and others like him, think that a simple “oh I was foolish and sorry if you were offended” is sufficient in this situation is extremely worrying. It suggests that he doesn’t understand the true impact of his words.

I’ve watched as my female friends who have experienced assault mirrored my thought process in their reactions. Assault has the potential to turn someone’s life on its head, affecting current and future relationships.

We all know the tale of a father telling his son to drop a plate on the floor and apologise to it, only for the damage to remain. I personally think someone needs to pound this message into Donald Trump’s head because it’s the same concept.

You cannot shatter a woman’s perception of her self-worth and of love and expect the word “sorry” to undo the damage.

As for the people defending Trump’s remarks, they were not simply “foolish”. They were downright damaging.

If you want to vote for Donald Trump, fine. However, look around you and ask yourself if you really want your daughter, sister, niece, etc., living under a president who thinks the size of his bank account provides immunity from the law?

Do you want the girls of this country growing up believing that if a man is rich, he has the right to do what he likes with her body?

There’s also the fact that the suggestion that assault and infidelity are acceptable and normal activities for a man to partake in is actually rather insulting to men who know the difference between right and wrong.

Nothing can undo the damage caused by assault, which is why it’s about time we started to educate everyone that assault is not okay. No, Donald Trump, it’s not okay to just go in for a kiss with a virtual stranger without waiting to see if it’s okay, I don’t care how big a “star” you are.

What you are talking about is assault, it is a crime, and it is not okay.

You can follow Megan’s other writing at her own website at meganhaste.co.uk.

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  • Granni Trixie

    As far as I could make out Trump also claimed that bring a women shopping (for furniture is, I thnk, the example he used) and they would do ‘anything’ fr you!

    Yet he is the one saying ‘ vote for me, I’m not the establishment’ Tell you what he is,he is someone abusing power acquired by virtue of money.

  • Anglo-Irish

    It is pointless attempting to explain to men like Trump that their behaviour is wrong.

    Trump considers himself to be beyond criticism on virtually any subject, and when it comes to his treatment of women he simply doesn’t ‘ get it ‘.

    As the father of two daughters I consider his comment regarding his own daughter as grotesque and utterly incomprehensible, for a thought such as that to even cross his mind shows that his thought process is far removed from the vast majority of men.

    He appears to believe that women are somehow a lessor breed and there for his enjoyment and little else.

    Unfortunately, there are a small but significant minority of men who think along similar lines, in Trumps case this misogynist egotism has been fed by his being born with a silver spoon yet apparently believing that he is a ‘self made man’.

    Good of him to take the blame I suppose.

    I’m counting on Americans not to have taken complete leave of their senses and I’m looking forward to a Democratic win.

    Losing to a woman may perhaps enlighten him a little, but I doubt it.

    If he loses he’ll claim it was a fix, he’s never wrong and he’s a winner you know, he told us all many times.

  • Brian O’Neill
  • hgreen

    It’s really not fine if you want to vote for Trump.

  • Sir Rantsalot

    Crude and lewd of course, but you can’t assault someone by talking. Obvious mud slinging. Do the lefties not have anything to say about the actual assaults on women by rapey Bill? Or Hillary’s intimidating?

  • Granni Trixie

    Don’t you get it – Trumps words about women spell out his disrespect for them. Not only that, but in this particular case he is accepting in his talk that illegal actions against women are ok – a norm in his world.

    And why should a politican (Clinton) have to answer for the actions of their family?

  • Sir Rantsalot

    Gran, I’m not defending crude talk. But you will find that sort of thing and much worse from a lot of men. Usually when you have a group of men in the pub that get onto that sort of conversation, it will get very crude very quickly. Its silly to get all ‘illegal actions’ about it. In that pub conversation you will find “I’d the brains out of her” are you going to say that that man wants to kill that woman? ! Don’t be daft.

    Any comments about Jessie Lehrich’s tweet “Go f@#k yourself” to Donald Trump? No pretending to be shocked to the core?

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/10/09/clintons-foreign-policy-spokesperson-to-trump-go-f-yourself/

    Here is a good comment I recently read on a forum. Sums up the dishonest left 🙂

    “John Kennedy had young girls swimming naked in the White House Pool….& multiple mistresses….A Drunk Ted Kennedy Drowned his mistress secretary…….John Edwards had his Love Child with his mistress………..Bill Clinton assaulted numerous women over 30 years…..The Democrats were fine with all this……………..But Donald Trump TALKED dirty. Oh my! How awful!”

    http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2016/10/controversy-looms-clinton-trump-debate-161009133250213.html

  • Sir Rantsalot

    “And why should a politican (Clinton) have to answer for the actions of their family?”

    When she is involved in covering it up and intimidating the victims.

  • hgreen

    I see what you are trying to do here and it’s pathetic. You are trying to link the actions of Bill Clinton to his wife. Why should a woman be made to answer questions about the actions of her husband?

    P.S. Bill Clinton isn’t running for president.

  • hgreen

    >>Gran, I’m not defending crude talk.<>But you will find that sort of thing
    and much worse from a lot of men. Usually when you have a group of men
    in the pub that get onto that sort of conversation, it will get very
    crude very quickly.<<

    Pathetic. I really don't know what type of friends you associate but no I've never heard my friends talk about assaulting women.

  • Sir Rantsalot

    duh, here it is again –

    When she is involved in covering it up and intimidating the victims.

  • Sir Rantsalot

    Where exactly am I defending that sort of language? Giving an example of other common places where that language is used, is not saying that I think its ok.

    Honestly, you lefties are so slippery !

  • lizmcneill

    You seriously don’t see the difference between “I’d *** her” and “just grab her by the ****”??

  • Sir Rantsalot

    Try googling “hillary clinton intimidating bill clinton victims” for lots to read and watch the victims talk about Hillary’s actions.

  • hgreen

    Mmmm you defended it by stating straight after that it was commonplace when men get together. No it isn’t.

    Mysogynist behaviour is unacceptable and isn’t a left right issue you fool.

  • hgreen

    Facts please.

  • hgreen

    He doesn’t because all his friends seem to talk this when they get together in the pub.

  • Granni Trixie

    Soooo….you defend Trump in terms of “everybody’s doing it” and “this is the way men talk in the pub”. Then what kind of standards are you setting up for young people?

  • Sir Rantsalot

    Stating that something is common, is not defending it. Its putting it into the real world perspective. If you want to keep claiming that is defending something then you are making false claims.

    No condemnation for Bill and his actual physical assaults?

  • Sir Rantsalot

    Please explain the difference.

  • Sir Rantsalot

    You can call me a fool and insult ‘all my friends’ but making a reasoned point seems to be too much for you today! 🙂

  • Sir Rantsalot

    Gran, I can see you have become one of those people who ignores when your point is countered, and just repeat your false claims. Then distract by claiming something that wasn’t even mentioned. I already said I’m NOT defending crude and lewd talk. If I wish to set something as a standard for young people, I’ll say so.

    No comment on the language and actual sexual behavior of fellow lefties, as I quoted above? Bill’s assaults and Hillary’s intimidation is ok in your world?

  • hgreen

    If you talk like that in the pub about women I’ll not lose sleep about insulting you or your friends.

  • hgreen

    It is when it is not true. As I said I’ve never been in a pub or locker room with men who have talked like this. You obviously have which sadly says a lot that isn’t good about you and your friends.

    P.s. Bill isn’t running for president.

  • Sir Rantsalot

    Try googling “hillary clinton intimidating bill clinton victims” for lots to read and watch the victims talk about Hillary’s actions.

  • chrisjones2

    I agree. Utterly crude and lewd.

    Now why dont you mention covering up serious sexual assaults by your partner and re-victimising women who suffered that?

    What about the use of power to seduce young women? Then trashing their reputations and lying?

  • Granni Trixie

    “Fellow lefties” wow! Many have tried to pigeon hole me without success (including my spouse who finds that quite endearing about me it seems).

    Also as regards the bad behaviour of Bill Clinton et al – the post as far as I am concerned is about the behaviour of Mr Trump – I do not accept the argument thAt he is behaving no worse than other people.

  • chrisjones2

    I agree totally. So do Hilary’s actions over many years. the US has an appalling choice

  • hgreen

    Victims? Why have they not taken Bill to court?

  • chrisjones2

    What a surprise. The alleged rape happens in 1994 and 22 years later it suddenly pops up publicly as hes on the end run to the elections3

    Its America. Its politics. Its the way the Clintons do things.

  • Sir Rantsalot

    Are you seriously going to dodge commenting on actual rapes and assaults? After your moralizing, you call his actions “bad behavior” ? Unbelievable.

  • hgreen

    Mmmm let me think. Could it be because the article doesn’t mention Clinton? Take your whataboutery elsewhere.

  • Granni Trixie

    I repeat, the post is about standards in male behaviour as applies to trump as a candidate for the Presidency. Since you ask I have no problem sayng clearly that rapes or assaults are Ofcouse wrong if carried out by men,women, Clintons or anybody.
    You may keep digging.

  • Sir Rantsalot

    Digging? LOL! It took multiple posts and you dancing around and attempting misdirection, before you would even weakly agree condemnation on people who have actually assaulted women.
    So, do you now agree with my initial point that words are not actually committing assault?
    “Crude and lewd of course, but you can’t assault someone by talking.”

  • chrisjones2

    Its an election. The point is that it doesn’t mention Clinton. Its not about whataboutery ….its about the appalling choice US electors have to make

  • chrisjones2

    Yeah …. hey gals lets sue the Senator / President

    In the end its about abuse of power as much as sex.

  • Paul

    I see….further up the thread you talk about the Bill Clinton’s actions…when did they happen?

    “What about the use of power to seduce young women? Then trashing their reputations and lying?”

    What a surprise. The alleged rape by her husband happens in 1994 and 22 years later it suddenly pops up publicly as she’s on the end run to the elections

    Its America. Its politics. Its the way the Trump’s do things.

    You see whataboutery is very easy.

  • chrisjones2

    Yes …and that’s why America have the choice of two appalling candidates

    I wouldn’t vote for either. Anyone sensible wouldn’t vote for either. Both equally bad. Both in deep in the gutter as the other. That enough whataboutery for you?

  • chrisjones2

    I always found furniture shopping an incredibly arousing erotic experience and not something that inevitably led to a dispute and little chance of sexual congress for a week oh no.

  • hgreen

    You really have issues if you think Hillary’s actions are on a par with Trump’s. By equating them all you are doing is diminishing Trumps comments about assaulting women which really are beyond the pale.

  • I mean, I’m guessing a lot of that’s about Bill Clinton, right? I wasn’t aware he was running for the presidency….

  • Granni Trixie

    My husbands time limit for shopping for anything with me is 5- 10 minutes max, even when shopping for something for himself. He continues to cast up all the time and angst it took to select curtains with me several years ago. Trump that!

  • chrisjones2

    Have a look at the way the Clinton foundation has operated for almost 20 years – then try that again

  • StevieG

    Why don’t you start a new topic/discussion and then your question/point might be relevant for comment assuming you could bring some facts to bear on it. Trump is unhinged, one defintion being an inability to perceive the same reality as most everyone else – ie…if he believes something even if not true, he cannot be accused of lying – I believe he believes it! Now, as to Hilary, that is for another post!

  • lizmcneill

    Trump makes it clear he doesn’t care about consent.

  • chrisjones2

    My point exactly …. if Trump can seduce a woman with furniture good luck to him. He has my admiration

  • Sir Rantsalot

    You lost me a bit there. Here is my point –
    “my initial point that words are not actually committing assault?”

    “Trump is unhinged, one defintion being an inability to perceive the same reality as most everyone else”
    Are you evaluating things for yourself? Or are you repeating things you hear on facebook, TV news, and general MSM TV? Its best to find out whats what from independent media. Then you’ll see the campaign by the Elite controlled media against the independent candidate and how desperate they are to promote and shield their candidate puppet.

    When you hear comments like “he isn’t fit to” or “he doesn’t have the temperament to” do you think, its true because its being repeated on TV? Or do you try and find out is there any truth behind these statements? It should be obvious that vague assertions like this are a mud slinging campaign.

    The US election is the same as the Brexit vote. Its the Elites that control business, media and government, being challenged and hopefully defeated by the people.

    We had threats of causing WW3 if we vote to leave the EU, the US have a campaign of demonization against Donald Trump. Watch the 10s of thousands at DT rallies online to see the true support.

    Enjoy the rest of the campaign !

  • grumpy oul man

    So the Women is to blame for what the husband does! interesting is she also his property?

  • grumpy oul man

    don’t expect us to prove your argument for you, that’s very lazy.
    Now some proof please!

  • grumpy oul man

    Funny most adult males (those i would want to drink with anyway) are mature enough not to carry on like over Hormoned teenagers.
    Maybe its a right wing thing talking about women and how they cant resist you, maybe overcompensating for something, but its not something grown up men do,

  • grumpy oul man

    what rapes, some proof for these very serious allegations!

  • grumpy oul man

    And is it not passing strange that these alleged rapes and sexual assaults against Bill Clinton haven’t turned up in a very dirty election campaign.
    Which makes you wonder if they exist.

  • John Collins

    And of course this is not an adolescent boy trying to impress his young mates. No,the culprit is about sixty years and the father of grown up daughters.

  • StevieG

    I thought I was clear…maybe you should have left your point as it was…then it would be true rather than come across as defensive of what he said and it being more or less OK – you may believe it to be so, and so does Trump – that does not make it so.
    Second point made already eslewhere – whataboutery – want to talk about Hilary and her general unsuitableness – fine, but why try and deflect here on behalf of Trump. He has his own guys to do that. Only the US voters can determine if he is fit to be president or not. That does not mean he is not unhinged.
    Why are you talking about Brexit here? I have what I think are informed views as opposed to some stance based on some to me untrustworthy idealogical point of view – maybe you should look me up on ‘arse’book – you will not find me there! But maybe I should just follow you blindly as you seem to know what your are talking about.

  • Thought Criminal

    The level of intellectual dishonesty here is gobsmacking, though not unsurprising given this is Slugger O’Toole. Soon any form of sexual interaction at all will be “misogynistic” according to the dishonest logic at play. Whether a woman considers getting her fanny touched is “assault” or not is not objective rather entirely dependent upon whether she likes the person who is doing the touching, and the fact is that a lot of women like rich and powerful men. Trump is just stating it like it is and any man who hasn’t heard similar things said must be lying or have lived a very sheltered life. Then we have this stupid word “misogyny” hurled about as if somehow being attracted to women and wanting to touch them is somehow equivalent to hating them. Smh.

  • Abucs

    We can’t be too harsh on Donald Trump.

    After all, 11 years ago he was a Democrat. lol

  • Sir Rantsalot

    Did you search for anything on the web? You’ll find some interviews with the victims on YouTube. Strange the way you think its the end of the world if someone talks crudely, but many women coming forward that were raped, is nothing to be bothered about.

    I’m signing off on this thread. I’m sure there will be more in the next few weeks. Much more truth to come out about the Clintons.

    Bye.

  • npbinni

    Trump is loathsome. Who can deny it?

    But, hey, there’re not a patch on Bill and Hillary. They are Democrats. So they’re okay, no matter how many women they have actually abused, right?

    btw, pretty low blow trying to tie Trump with Orlando. Milo wouldn’t think much of your drivel… (around the 30min mark https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prO7R1l2kZI )

  • grumpy oul man

    So how many charges have been brought! none in how many years?
    No i didn’t no search the internet because if Bill Clinton had been charged or found guilty of rape then it would be front page news, but he hasn’t even been brought in for questioning.
    What you have are nothing more than ugly rumours.

  • Abucs

    There are many things which sound attractive in theory but in reality they produce the opposite affect. Socialism is the obvious example but so is the American Democratic process.

    Who could argue with two years of detailed primary debates on both side of politics with severe media scrutiny where millions of politically motivated citizens choose their opposing candidates?

    Surely this could only produce the most high calibre individuals to run as president?

    Reality is different to theory. A modern heresy is for the mis-educated to emotionally internalise fine sounding abstract theory and ignore the terrible consequences it has on reality.

    It just sounds really rational and modern. Who can argue against it?

  • SeaanUiNeill

    TC, try imagining yourself in the place of these women, with Trump (or anyone) with “hands all over” you yourself. What you are saying suggests that you may believe all women to be somehow fair game, like, say, Jimmy Saville did? This is a very serious issue, and sure, some men talk like this a lot of the time, but some of us recognise the clear differencce between mutual response and interrest and those unsolicited actions which constitute abuse.

  • lizmcneill

    “Whether a woman considers getting her fanny touched is “assault” or not is not objective rather entirely dependent upon whether she likes the person who is doing the touching,”

    Uh…yes, the lack of consent is kind of the definition of rape/sexual assault. Rush Limbaugh, is that you?

  • grumpy oul man

    And now he is a shinning example of the right! A true disbeliever in facts, a bully, and a political imbecile.
    He was only searching for himself ten years ago now he has found himself.
    He stands with the Muslim hater,s and homophobes, the climate change deniers and supported by rednecks and spittle mouthed preacher,s.
    I am fairly sure the democratic party is glad to see the back of him.
    what is most amazing is the sheer stupidity of many of his followers,
    he said he would build a fifty foot wall with guard towers and Mexico would pay for it, he built a campaign on this,any thinking person would know that it was a nonsense but the rednecks believed it, the man has to be on the right the left are not that stupid.

  • grumpy oul man

    “Socialism is the obvious example” that’s a big statement care to defend it.

  • My condemnation of Donald Trump’s remarks are not a reflection of my political standpoint, they’re a reflection of my moral standpoint. If you can provide me with evidence of a similar calibre to the evidence that Trump is proud to sexually assault women that shows that Bill Clinton has said equally horrific things, I’ll condemn that too.

    As for Milo, I hold him in much the same regard as Katie Hopkins. I’m not a fan of people who make a name for themselves by tearing down everyone around them. Nor was I comparing Orlando to Trump, I was simply explaining the reason I find Trump’s comments so utterly deplorable, and it happens to be for a similar reason to why the Orlando shooting tore me apart

  • Exactly. Glad I’m getting to learn now that married women lose the capacity to be free-thinking individuals the moment they sign those papers. Imagine if I’d gone and got married without realising that!

  • Honestly, the way you speak isn’t just offensive to women, but it’s offensive to every man who knows the difference between right and wrong.

    If a man (or woman, for that matter) touches me without consent, it’s a pretty good bet to say that I will not “like” them. Because the thing is, I don’t like people who believe that assault is acceptable, regardless of the size of their bank account.

  • grumpy oul man

    GT
    The leftie thing is a standard insult from people like Ranty.
    When confronted with any facts they dont like they resort to it, what is most amusing about it is the idea that anybody who doesnt accept thier half formed arguments is part of a great conspricacy theory.
    It is sad but can be amusing as their “logic” forces them to widen the scope of the conspricacy theory.
    Abucs for example claimed that Hitler was a lefty and this was covered up by a conspricy consisting of historians who of course are all left wingers.
    So take it not as a insult but proof that you have got the better of him.

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