#GerryAdams: So is he the Messiah or not?

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It is true that the DUP have their comedians like Sammy Wilson, but to my own (admitted Catholic ear) the Shinners tell better jokes. Take Mary Lou at their Dublin rally last night:

Not that anyone really believes Gerry is the Messiah [In fact he's a very naughty boy! - Ed].

 

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  • Son of Strongbow

    …….no just a very naughty boy.

  • Pete Rock

    I thought you said jokes….

  • Mick Fealty

    “And on the fifth day…”

  • GEF

    St Peter has made a mistake he is Moses.
    Only GA (I mean Moses) has flown to Dundalk.

    Exodus 2:11-15 GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)
    Moses Commits Murder and Flees to Midian

  • http://www.thedissenter.co.uk thedissenter

    A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
    He asked,”What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock.
    Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.” “Oh”, said the man. “Whose clock is that?” “That was Mother Teresa’s”, replied St. Peter. “The hands have never moved, Indicating that she never told a lie.”
    “Incredible”, said the man. “And whose clock is that one?” St.Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.”

    “Where’s Gerry Adams clock?” asked the man.

    St Peter replied,”We’re using it as a ceiling fan.”

  • tacapall

    Could I borrow your long tail shovel I cant get at the bottom of your barrel

  • Dixie Elliott

    The PSNI are ripping Gerry Adams’ Teddy Bear apart. Gerry says it won’t talk.

  • Dixie Elliott

    On another note Frankie Boyle said on Twitter…

    “I think Gerry Adams is innocent because if there was any evidence against him he’d have been made Middle East Peace Envoy”

    Comical Marty has his heart set on that job Frankie….

  • ArdoyneUnionist

    There’s one sure thing Gerry is incapable of weeping for victims.

  • Nordie Northsider

    I can see it now on BBC 4: ‘Some Bloggers with Jokes’.

  • Greenflag

    In response to Gavin Reilly’s -Mary Lou opening

    BTW

    Dissenter gets a 9 out of 10 for the ceiling fan ;)

    Another version on the lead theme .

    Sammy Sam the Orangeman arrives at the pearly gates.

    Jesus is sent to interview him .

    “What did you do in your lifetime ‘? Jesus asks

    Silence .

    ‘I must know ‘ pleads Jesus but Sammy Sam remains obstinately silent .

    An angel is sent to find out what is going on and to ask Sammy Sam why he is not answering Jesus’s questions .

    ‘Why should I? ‘ replies Sammy Sam . ‘I don’t talk to *#*#*#*#*# Fenians.

  • Greenflag

    And one for the road it’s almost Friday

    Carson , Paisley and Robinson meet in Hell at some future date unknown.

    Carson says

    ‘I was the founder of Northern Ireland , but I upset the vast majority of Irish people in Ireland and thats why I’m here .

    Paisley says ,

    ‘I was the First Minister in very difficult times and I saved Northern Ireland from great dangers and an even worse fate but I was too stubborn and too righteous and here I am .

    Robinson says ,

    ‘I am Peter , follower of Carson , pupil of Paisley , First Minister of Northern Ireland . This place is not Hell and I am not here ‘

  • Reader

    Greenflag: ‘Why should I? ‘ replies Sammy Sam . ‘I don’t talk to *#*#*#*#*# Fenians.
    Even a joke ought to have some foundation on stereotypes or prejudices. And, since Jesus was actually Jewish, the butt of the joke ought to be one of the more stubborn BDS supporters.

  • Son of Strongbow

    A nationalist and a unionist are killed in a car accident. They both arrive at the pearly gates and St Peter meets them.

    ‘Welcome I’ll escort you to your mansions’ says Pete and off they all go. They turn up a golden street, cross a diamond bridge and arrive outside a giant house shining with bling and a deep soft carpet woven from cashmere wool leading to the front door.

    ‘This is your home’ says Peter to the nationalist, ‘see you later for drinks with Big G’.

    St Peter walks off with the unionist following. Off the pair go down a very different looking street, still pretty nice, clean brick paving and some shrubbery but a little bit low-rent compared to the first street.

    They arrive outside a neat little house that looks a bit like a garden playhouse. ‘Here’s your house’ says St Peter.

    ‘Hold on a minute’ says the unionist ‘how come the nationalist gets the big house and I’m in this little place?’

    ‘Ah well’ St Peter replies ‘there’s loads of unionists up here. But a nationalist? That’s very, very rare indeed’.

  • tacapall

    I knew you had a vivid imagination SOS but congratulations you get the prestigious slugger award for getting the very last scrape of the barrel

  • SeaanUiNeill

    Oh Son of Strongbow, just a little corrective, and not even my own words, alas.
    Phane Beecher had written over the gates of his Cork planter town of Bandon, A Jew, A Turk an Atheist may enter here, but not a Papist.

    The seanghaill poet and harper Piaras Feiritéar had the great riposte:

    “The man who writ this writ it well, for the same is writ o’er the gates of Hell.”

  • JR

    Guy was died and went to hell. when he arrived the devil told him. Ok mr, you have a choice. I am going to show you three rooms and you need to choose where to spend eternity. He showed him the first room and it had a stone floor and everyone was standing on their heads, the guy thought, I don’t like the look of that at all. The second room had a rough concrete floor and once again everyone were standing on their heads, that doesn’t look much better thought the guy. In the third room everyone was standing up to their waist in shit but were drinking tea and eating biscuits the guy thought, I don’t like the shit but the tea and biscuits doesn’t seem too bad. I’ll choose this one he says to the devil. Ok said the devil with a smile, then he turned to everyone in the room “right, tea breaks over. Back on your heads”

    Ok it doesn’t have a political theme but seems to fit the thread.

  • Greenflag

    Reader ,

    Fair point – I was almost tempted to use Palestinian instead of Fenian but since both are the deemed the same anyway for Sammy Sam it hardly matters . Anyway there re those who assert that Jesus was actually a Palestinian or would be in today’s world for if he were to return there’s no question that the nuttier of the evangelical groups and the Jews and the GOP (USA ) would see have him crucified again :(

    All the nonsense about loving your neighbour and helping the poor etc is not good politics these days not in the neo con world anyway . It’s dog eat dog and Barclays are dripping blood having sacrificed 19,000 employees to the Golden Calf /Mammon God as per today’s news .I’d say we can expect a another huge ‘sacrifice ‘ of loyal/disloyal RBS employees just in time for the Scottish Referendum .

    Plus ca change

    BTW

    Sammy Sam is a much better joke butter as is Gerry and Paisley and increasingly Peter the ‘Wolf ” I’m warning you Robinson than any Palestinian or Israeli . The latter are not winning friends and have become increasingly alienated for their ‘western ‘ culture as per this link from the WSJ.

    http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304831304579545801396888512?mg=reno64-wsj&url=http%3A%2F%2Fonline.wsj.com%2Farticle%2FSB10001424052702304831304579545801396888512.html

  • Greenflag

    Reader ,

    Fair point – I was almost tempted to use Palestinian instead of Fenian but since both are deemed the same anyway for Sammy Sam and his ilk it hardly matters does it ? . Anyway there those who assert that Jesus was actually Palestinian or would be in today’s world for if he were to return there’s no question that the nuttier of the evangelical groups and the present Israeli Government and the GOP (USA ) would have him crucified again :(

    They hate the poor and the weak of all nations including their own :(

    All the nonsense about loving your neighbour and helping the poor etc is not good politics these days not in the Neo Con world anyway . It’s dog eat dog and I read Barclays are dripping blood having sacrificed 19,000 employees to the Golden Calf /Mammon God as per today’s news .I’d say we can expect a another huge ‘sacrifice ‘ of loyal/disloyal RBS employees just in time for the Scottish Referendum .

    Plus ca change

    BTW

    Sammy Sam is a much better joke butter as is Gerry and Paisley and increasingly Peter the ‘Wolf ” I’m warning you Robinson than any Palestinian or Israeli . The latter are winning even less friends than Sammy Sam and have become increasingly alienated from their ‘western ‘ culture as per this link from the WSJ.

    http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304831304579545801396888512?mg=reno64-wsj&url=http%3A%2F%2Fonline.wsj.com%2Farticle%2FSB10001424052702304831304579545801396888512.html

  • Greenflag

    apologies for the double post the second has fewer spelling /grammar errors :(

  • carl marks

    Big Ian pass’s on and Peter watching his party collapse approaches a medium to ask Ian’s advice on what to do,
    The medium goes into a trance for ten minutes then tells Pete that Ian is in hell and not available because he is having sex with a ex miss world,
    Peter exclaims “Having sex with a Miss world doesn’t sound like hell to me” the medium replies “it is for the Miss world”