Slugger O'Toole

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Stormtroopers on red alert for St Paddy’s Day riots in South Belfast

Thu 9 February 2012, 10:40am

Stormtroopers gathering outside Dublin Road Movie HouseLast night, the PSNI riot squad took part in a dress rehearsal in advance of any trouble in the university/Holylands area over the St Patrick’s Day long weekend.

One officer privately expressed concern that the new protective clothing “wouldn’t be taken seriously by tipsy students”. Another added that the pockets weren’t very accessible and there was no where to store his phone or his “emergency doughnut”.

A spokesperson explained that enhanced scrutiny of PSNI spending together with the reduction of budgets meant that “difficult procurement decisions had to be made”.

And in an alternative universe, fans queued up outside Dublin Road Movie House to view the 3D version of Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace.

May the force be with you …

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Comments (10)

  1. HeinzGuderian (profile) says:

    Is this the irish culture thread ? ;-)

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  2. michael-mcivor (profile) black spot says:

    Stormtroopers policing in an alternative universe- well they had no policing board-maybe thats why they lost to Luke and the force-

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  3. Charlie Sheens PR guru (profile) says:

    PSNI sith lord to local Damascus street resident (while waving fingers in front of his eyes): “You WILL give me over that bottle of buckfast”

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  4. tacapall (profile) says:

    Memo to self – St Patricks day is not a public holiday in this part of Ireland, so be in work. No binge drinking, no loud music or parties late into the night and do not engage in behaviour that might cause offense to others as that is reserved for the 12th July.

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  5. Scáth Shéamais (profile) says:

    St Patrick’s Day is a Saturday this year.

    I hope those Stormtroopers were at the cinema to stop people from seeing The Phantom Menace.

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  6. JR (profile) says:

    The attire is appropriate for forces of the empire.

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  7. Greenflag (profile) says:

    And the Great Google cometh to a universe just a hundred miles down the road . The plan appears to be to attack the Apple from the southern front as a first ploy in the smart phones war .

    When was the last time anybody bought a phone that was just a stupid phone ? 1980? Anyone remember?

    http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-02-09/google-plans-first-retail-store-at-europe-headquarters-building-in-dublin.html

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  8. Alias (profile) says:

    It’s simply awful to observe this cultural colonisation and the displacing influence it has had on the indigenous culture – the American colonisers should be ashamed of themselves.

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  9. Brian (profile) says:

    Can they set their laser guns to ‘rubber bullet’ mode?

    Although methinks Darth Vador and the Emperor are hardliners who won’t stand for any public disturbance…

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  10. latcheeco (profile) says:

    As a young fella in his day he was a fine jedi but then he joined the empire and became a Sith lord and turned against his friends and tried to wipe the other jedi out but some escaped and hid out in bogs and swamps until one fine day……in a galaxy far far away

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